Show ’em your mean face

Tuesday February 26, 2008
Come on UMBC, show ’em your mean face
By Nick Jamison
Senior Staff Writer

UMBC’s athletic department is electrified this year. The men’s basketball team is the best that I can remember, the swim team just took the AEC crown, and the chess team is set to dominate their upcoming tournament. In the heat of competition, talent can only take you so far, so sports teams look to their fans to take them further. Sadly for our teams, UMBC can sometimes have the vigor and passion of a retirement community. So this is a call for all UMBC students, we need to do more than support our teams, we need strike fear into the hearts of our opponents and their stupid-looking fans.

If I learned anything from the movie Little Giants, it is that intimidation can go a long way. The chess team has already taken great strides in this area by giving their chess masters menacing names. How can someone not piss themselves while going up against someone called the “The Kiev Killer” or “The Detroit Destroyer”? Even as I type those words I feel my bowels cringing. I believe the chess team should take it one step further. For example, Pawel Blehm’s nickname, “The Polish Magician,” is a pretty sweet nickname, but it could use a splash of intimidation; how about something like “The Baby Puncher?” Now there is a nickname with some bite. Alexander Barnett’s nickname, “The Washington Wizard,” could use some a little spice as well. Might I suggest “The Kitten Strangler?”

With the chess team setting the bar for fear, we the fans need to match it. People always say that one of the keys to success in the business world is to dress the part you hope to achieve; this concept also applies to making your opponent wish he/she had never been born. Rather than showing up to a game or event in your polo shirt or hoodie, show up looking like you plan to get arrested that night. And this just doesn’t pertain to clothes as this can apply to makeup as well. When applying your war paint, draw inspiration from our decorated heroes of yesteryear, people such as Twisted Sister and the Ultimate Warrior. What would you do if you walked in an arena and the entire opposing team’s section was dressed like they were going to war/jail/hell? After messing yourself, you would turn right around and leave. Why are we always the ones who cringe at the name of our opponent? I say those days are over. UMBC athletics is looking at a new dawn.

Here is the full article.