The Handy-Woman…
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. “Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said. How much will you charge me?” The blonde quickly responded, “How about $50?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?” He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it? The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we’ve been getting by e-mail lately.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” the husband asked. “Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “it’s not a Porsche, it’s a Lexus.”
Source: JokeOfTheDay.com
Good one! Thanks!
What do you call five blondes standing next to each other, ear to ear?
Answer: A wind tunnel!
I can see you are working hard to redeem yourself after the April 1st scam 🙂
lsur
That post that was just removed MUST be coming from Laugherty. I feel sorry for his daughter to have a father like that.
The funniest thing I hear today is a little bird has been chirping about a lawsuit against Laugherty coming from Chicago.
Sloani has an excuse. He’s sick. What’s Laugherty’s excuse?
If Polgar and Truong won’t leave the US and go back to where they belong, the next best option
would be for them to leave the USCF board. The USCF doesn’t need foreigners. You must be American born to serve the USCF board.
Consultation fees
A lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.”
“Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.
Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.
Excess billing hours
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?”
St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
Lawyers take everything
A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: “Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!” The defendant answered, “No, we won.”
Laugherty must be really desperate. Yes, his family is offended by the blonde joke but not by his behavior. Sorry but April fools is over, fool.
I have 2 daughters (8 and 12) and they’re natural blonde. They have no problem with it and think it’s funny.
I’m blonde and I don’t see any tragedy in this joke. It’s kinda funny.
Hahahaha! Funny! Good clean joke.
Great Joke
My blond daughter roared with laughter. This has to be one of the best jokes I have read in a long time.
I’m sorry but it really is insulting peoples’ intelligence to remove some posts but then leave the “The USCF doesn’t need foreigners” type posts which seem to crop up every day.
You two don’t need to play for the audience’s sympathy / outrage like this – why can’t you just behave honestly? Even now you have a tremendous amount of support from most chess players. For God’s sake play it straight, you don’t have to be crooked to be a politician!
Jon, I left perhaps 1% of these posts up (once in a while) so that people can understand some the daily problems.
There is a small group of people who have nothing better to do but post things like this daily. This happened the moment I announced that I will run for the board.
These are not nearly as bad as many posts which the moderation team deletes daily.
Best wishes,
Susan Polgar
Another post of Laugherty deleted. He thinks he can get away with it by posting anonymously. He has a problem with blonde jokes but has no problem with using obscenity and profanity toward women. How sad.