Johnny Depp has reacted angrily to suggestive reports that he has beaten wife French singer Vanessa Paradis.
“For a start we ain’t even married,” said the furious British character actor.
“Secondly – I have never beaten her – I’ve tried, several times, but I just haven’t managed it yet.”
Depp’s denials were confirmed by Vanessa: “We play every night and to be honest he isn’t very good,” said the sweet song bird. “He has got me in check in a few times but can never seal the deal and get a checkmate.”
Depp and Paradis began playing chess together 3 years ago and like to spend long evenings in their French Castle, known as ‘Le Chateaux’, playing the popular game of strategy and cunning.
He even tried to get co-star Orlando Bloom to play on the set of Pirates of Caribbean but the ‘cockney’ Bloom couldn’t remember how all the pieces moved. “Now I should have beat him – with a big stick,” laughed Depp, waving his fist in the air.
Source: The Spoof (The story above is a satire or parody.)
Why did the spoof start to focus on chess? It’s funny stuff.
I love Johnny Depp!
Back on topic:
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Chess
Is it necessary to tell us that it is a “satire or parody”? Do you have no criteria for deciding which it is?
And next, advanced class … irony.
I enjoyed the story. It’s funny IMHO.
What is funny is watching defective personalities coming in here complaining about the humor.
The irony is delicious!