Invaluable life lessons through chess

December 24, 2007 12:00 AM
Protecting the Queen

Chess provides an invaluable opportunity to teach life lessons.
By Jim Pemberton

It was only fitting that I would play chess with my daughters. Long before I became a father in 1999, chess was a big part of my life.

My brother and father taught me when I was 5. Since then, I’ve played with friends, family members, even strangers (in a park in Boston, where I lost, badly).

Now I play chess with my daughters. I taught my oldest, Mikayla, when she was 6. She has already beaten me once. Liz, now 5, started learning when she was 3. When the baby, Erica, is older, she and I will also play.

The reasons are simple: I did it as a boy, it’s cheap, and it stimulates the imagination. It’s an elegant hedge against TV on a cold winter night. When the temptation might be to hunker down and watch a movie, my push for chess is my way of resisting the urge of the tube.

Last year, I was given Dr. Meg Meeker’s book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. This book cautions fathers on the rancidity of the culture that awaits girls, and instructs on how fathers are uniquely positioned to help. Our oldest girl is 8. So far, so good — but we have a lot ahead of us. Even now, Mikayla faces questions that I don’t recall being discussed when I was 8. A dad tries to find strategies to help her blossom, without hitting her over the head with it.

The book, which doesn’t mention chess per se, makes two important points. First point: A girl needs Dad time. She needs to bond with Dad, to know he is there for her, and to be assured of his love for her. When life gets hard — not if but when — she can go to him and she knows he will listen. Today’s bond helps weather tomorrow’s problems.

The second point: Protect her from herself. Wise decision making — maturity — is the final thing that develops in the mind. Teens can rationalize anything for fun. They have the ability to wreak adult havoc but lack the logic to consider consequences.

Here is the full article.