No do-over in life

By Adam Leech
aleech@seacoastonline.com
http://www.seacoastonline.com/
December 24, 2007 6:00 AM

PORTSMOUTH — Although Ted Alex and his family still do not have closure, three years after his 28-year-old son Jeremy disappeared in the Maine wilderness, something undeniably positive has come from the tragedy.

The Jeremy Alex Fund was established by the Portsmouth Rotary two years ago in Jeremy’s memory with the goal of helping at-risk children and teens. The fund has gone toward a number of things over that time, including trips for students to foreign countries, athletic functions, a health expo and various enrichment opportunities.

In late January, a chess set will be distributed to each of the 200 fourth-grade students in the city thanks to the fund. Chess was one of Jeremy’s passions, and the Rotary’s Jeremy Alex Fund committee thought it was a good idea to promote the expansion of cognitive skills and critical thinking that comes with playing chess.

“We thought it might be a good thing to expose some fourth-graders to the game,” said Rotarian John Hebert. “It’s a way to try and keep Jeremy’s memory alive and do some good in the community.”

Jeremy disappeared into the Maine woods near Northport, where he and his girlfriend were in the process of moving to, on the afternoon of April 24, 2004. Numerous searches were conducted, but no trace of Jeremy was ever found. Jeremy struggled with addictions throughout most of his adult life, but he is remembered by his family as a kind person with many passions, according to the fund.

It has turned a tragic circumstance into a means of promoting alternatives to reckless behavior, according to Ted, and it has allowed him to look at the tragedy in a different way.

One of the most memorable moments for Ted was when an at-risk student got to go to Costa Rica with the Spanish Club thanks to the fund. Through charity work he did there, that student had a life-changing experience that allowed him to better appreciate his mother — a single parent with two kids and two jobs. Ted remembers the student’s tearful thank-you standing at a Rotary meeting following the trip.

“The hardest part was when he looked at me and he said, ‘Tell Jeremy I said thank you,'” Ted said. “That really hit me. … That’s just one of the positive things that has come from the fund.”

A variety of life lessons can be learned from chess, according to Hebert. He said there are consequences for good and bad decisions, which are immediate and don’t allow for a “do-over.”

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